Black Men, We Gotta Do Better

I cannot think of another time in the history of my own life where I’ve seen so much foolishness, death, trauma, and more all in a year’s time. It’s hard to believe that my wife and I brought in 2020 with Megan Thee Stallion and nine months later, she’s undermined, disrespected, and more on a tape that a BLACK man put out FOR PROFIT after shooting her in the foot. This same Black man who she considered a friend and someone who earlier in the quarantine, was the life of the at-home parties we enjoyed on social media, chose to remain silent after the incident.

I do not think we’ll know the full story (at least not right now), about the shooting, BUT, what I can say is Tory Lanez response tape ain’t it. This same Black man was talking about protecting Black women and how he was protesting in the streets of Miami, yet this is what the people get. You release an album about a traumatic, harmful experience for this Black woman FOR PROFIT, FOR STREAMS, a day AFTER another Black woman, who was murdered by state sanctioned violence, did not receive justice. In both instances, we see once again see Black women being used for profit, clout, and exploitation while having their respective voices manipulated. There’s so many layers to this that I need to unpack in later writings. But for now, here’s where I’m confused though: the number of Black men who support and defend him ESPECIALLY after the tape dropped. Someone please help me understand how this is cool. A few celebs came out to say something against it such as Rick Ross and Bun B. Yet, I’ve seen a number of Black men who I know in real life say that Tory’s album was fire and should be played everywhere. I’ve heard other Black men try to make excuses for Tory shooting this woman with “oh she was jealous of him and Kylie”. The irony? Many of these Black men openly said earlier this year, #ProtectBlackWomen and/or posted that “I am a Black man..I don’t tear down other Black men or women” photo, yet here we are.

Of course, I’m not talking to all Black men, just a select few: DO BETTER! GAHTDAMN! My mom always said, “hit dogs holler”, so if you holler, you might got some work to do. Take some time to really examine the misogynoir that you’re exuding and see how to rectify some of that toxic behavior. I know we’re not perfect (we all fall short including myself) however, I do need us to do a better job of showing up for our Black women (and not just the one’s we find attractive). This includes, but is not limited to: Black trans, LGBTQ, short, tall, sex-workers, the ones that turn you down, and the ones who break your heart.

What does showing up look like for Black women? They’ve been saying it for years, do your research. To start you off, here’s a few things that you can read:

All About Love by bell hooks

Black Sexual Politics by Patricia Hill Collins

Get on Twitter and look up: #blackwomensyllabus

It’s been 58 years since Malcolm X said: “The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.”

Will we have to wait another 58 years before this no longer rings true?

One thought on “Black Men, We Gotta Do Better

  1. Dr. J coming with the TRUTH, always. I feel you 100% and it’s interesting navigating that thought process of showing support especially when the offender is a media sensation. Your article confirms to me that you can choose what you want to support. And when you support someone’s product you support them. So for me, Tory Lanez is out. Stopped listening to Chris Brown earlier this year and I’m continuing the sentiment in the future when men hurt women and don’t get the consequences they deserve.


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