Did Someone Outfinesse Joanne the Scammer? Questions for Ty Da Finesse Gawd!

Apologies for the delay in writing as it’s been a whirlwind in the last couple of weeks. I definitely missed you all and thought about what I could write since so much has happened in the last two weeks. We could talk about the shooting of Stephon Clark, Katy Perry kissing a contestant against his will, and more. But today, I have to talk about the absurdity and the highest levels of FINESSEHOOD that happened in the financial aid office at Howard University that was revealed yesterday.

Quick summary of events:

A student whistleblower who revealed that university administrators and staff took more than $1M in grants and scholarships that was supposed to go to students and their education. Apparently, administrators knew about this (stemming all the way back to May 2017-according to a now suspended Medium article) and did not do anything about it. The whistleblower named “Chase” had his identity revealed to staff and students by salty administrators and now Chase’s graduation is in limbo. As of now, the President of the university confirmed the allegations, six university employees, federal privacy laws was violated, and students are pissed. One name that came out of all of this situation, is Tyrone Hankerson Jr., who is accused of stealing close to $430k. Not only is he being accused of stealing the money between 2015-2017, reports are saying that he lived his best life with every penny! He released a statement through his lawyer denying any wrongdoing, but you know with #blacktwitter, they’re going to have their moment in spite of what you say.

Of course, #blacktwitter did their digging and found the lavish of lavish photos from the graduate student who worked as a student-employee for work-study purposes. Now, I’ve been to quite a few colleges in my time and even worked in the financial aid office, but damn! I never even thought about how to finesse like Ty da Gawd! I know that he put out a statement about the situation which is cool and in all honesty, I really hope that it isn’t true. Yet, November 2016 taught us that anything is truly possible.

***editor’s note: I did not attend HU and I did go to a PWI. This is not a PWI vs HBCU article or anything of the ilk. Really, I’m making observations about a situation that flooded not only my timeline, but my higher ed circles as well. As bad as the situation sounds (which it really is and I feel for the students), the way Tyrone blew up and the stories about him that came out are of legend. ***

In the interim, here’s a few questions that I need answered from Ty da Finesse Gawd about his finessing ways:

1. Why close to $430k? What did you really need THAT much money for? A cool $10k wouldn’t have been so bad, but damn bruh.
2. Did you pay anybody bills with any of the money?
3. You clearly didn’t see Denzel Washington’s American Gangster. In the movie, Frank was convinced to buy a white mink and wear it at a boxing match in addition to sitting as close to the ring as possible, which he actually didn’t want to do. He felt it drew too much attention. If you did see this movie, you clearly missed this part. How you walkin’ around with mink on now? Come on b. Do better.
4. I appreciate how you tried to represent the culture in some of your photos. You have the #BLM sign in the window as you walk by it effortlessly in your mink.
5. You know you just messed up the name Tyrone for another 5 years at least right? You now join the ranks of other Tyrones in the world that just can’t get right. Erykah Badu’s Tyrone, that dude Tyrone from IG who is going to stick it to someone’s wife, and Scar from Lion King (I know his name isnt’ Tyrone, but what he did had the tendencies of a kneegrow named Tyrone). Congratulations.
6. Can you teach me your ways? I don’t need a full $400k, but a nice $100k will do.
7. Did you really send an email talkin about the university doesn’t have anymore money to give the students? Come on nih! You didn’t do that for real, right?
8. What made you do it (IF you did it)? Similar to when my students make foolish decisions, I feel like I need to have some rationale. So what was it?
9. The most expensive thing that you bought?! Now, I don’t know how true it is, but I saw somewhere on twitter that you had a camera/video crew following you everywhere, you took trips all around the globe, and might have even purchased a car. Nobody knows what’s true but you. So what was your
10. Did you invest or save any of the money? I hate when I see finessers spend, spend, and spend more. Did you have lawyer money? Jay said it best on “I Never Change” when he said: “Chains are cool to cop, but more important are lawyer fees”. Did you take care of the necessities?
11. I take it nobody knows about FERPA laws…Somebody is going to get in trouble for this violation here!

Now mind you, I’m being funny. Actually, I hope ol’ boy really didn’t commit the crime. I don’t want to see another Black man in jail. Hopefully, all of these allegations are false against the young man and there’s someway to support the students that missed out on a lot of financial aid because of these administrators. While we wait to hear what happens, take a listen to the Apple Music playlist called HU Financial Aid: The Playlist and somebody better calllll Tyrone!